Bad Fashion Song Lyrics

Here's something that really cheeses me off: when parents and school boards and obnoxious people in general get all whipped up into a froth about the "obscene" books their kids are reading in school, or how the world is so damn dangerous for their little angels, while it's completely accepted for kids to watch Katy Perry shoot whipped cream out of her bra (which may well be a post/rant for another time).

I will admit here and now that I am not a prude. I don't wince if someone uses the f-word and I'm not offended, per se, by undergarments that eject dairy product. I am, however, deeply offended by stupid and unoriginal artistry, e.g., Katy Perry. In her song "California Gurls," she sings:

California girls, we're unforgettable / Daisy dukes, bikinis on top

Daisy frigging dukes? I realize I live in New England where it's winter nine months out of the year, but I'm still pretty sure daisy dukes went out of style around the same time as colored denim and David Charvet.

Sex on a beach / We get sand in our stilettos

Great googly moogly. First of all, the concept of sex on a beach is such a worn-out cliché that there's a cheesy drink named after it. Secondly, someone wearing heels on the beach will look like a dumb-ass exactly 100% of the time.

We freak in my Jeep / Snoop Doggy Dogg on the stereo

Just don't poke David Charvet in the eye with a nozzle as you "freak" to romantic tracks like "Gz Up, Hoes Down." Just keep it coming, Katy, the jokes practically write themselves.

Image: screenshot taken from official music video at KatyPerryMusic on YouTube