Rant for a Rainy Day

I find it slightly irritating that fashion magazines and retailers coin their own quasi-original words and catchphrases to differentiate styles of clothing and accessories. Now, I understand that it's really just marketing jargon meant to make this year's collections seem fresher than last year's, but when words like, for instance, "shootie" are created, I just want to stick my head in an oven.

[For those who are blissfully unaware, a shootie is an ankle boot. It isn't quite a shoe, but it isn't really a full-out boot either. It was living a quiet, unassuming, presumably satisfying life as an ankle boot until a copy editor came along earlier this year and turned its entire world upside down. Same style, but now with a stupid name.]

I was feeling these same resentful feelings browsing Banana Republic's website earlier today, when I found this absolutely stunning beige-colored tiered shift dress:

Banana Republic Monogram Tiered Dress, $250.00

Isn't it beautiful? Oh, and did I mention my birthday is coming up very soon? Anyway, the category under which this very lovely garment falls is called "Wedding-Perfect Looks."

Wait, wedding-perfect? Hyphenated? I'm not even sure what this word is supposed to mean. Are all weddings perfect, thus wedding-perfect would be, like, really flipping perfect? Except that we know it's not true. A happy delusion, then? I don't know. Perfect isn't necessarily better. What's so bad about "Wedding-Pretty-Good," or "Wedding-Not-Too-Shabby"?

Keep in mind that this is not even a wedding dress (although it would make a pretty bridesmaid's dress), so should we assume that not only the bride and the groom and the wedding party and the caterer and the DJ and the photographer be perfect, that our responsibility as guests is to appear perfect as well? Because that's a whole lot of perfection to live up to. Banana Republic copywriters: see what your made-up words hath wrought?

Shameless Promotion for a Fantastic New Blog

On the off chance you were stumbling around the Interwebs looking for a engaging, thoughtfully written geography-themed blog but found yourself perusing this here frivolous fashion blog instead, fear not: it's your lucky day! My brother Andrew has just recently jumped on the blogwagon with Geografnik, a "dumping ground for all [my] geographic thoughts."

Andrew waxing geographical in San Juan's capital building, Puerto Rico

A quick anecdote to establish my brother's credibility: Derek (my hubs, for those not in-the-know) was once at a local watering hole's weekly trivia night. The category was Geography, the question was something about a chain of islands in the South Pacific, and everyone was stumped. Derek quickly called my brother on his cell phone and relayed the question to him. Without a moment's hesitation, Andrew answered. "The Maldives." Thus Derek's group was the only group that night to answer the question correctly.

This is exactly why you should read his blog immediately. Enjoy!

Hump-Day Hunk

I've been feeling a little under the weather lately, so I've prescribed myself lots of acai-blueberry-pomegranate VitaminWater, along with plenty of rest and this photo of Gael Garcia Bernal.

Image courtesy of Babble

Ahh, feeling better already.

Woolly Weekend Fun

Though I still have no intention of learning to knit (sorry Dina), I ventured out last weekend with Carolyn and Dina to a wool fair in western Massachusetts. It was a truly fabulous time: beautiful warm weather, brightly colored yarns, cute furry animals, and fashion . . . though most of the fashion was of the Birkenstocks-and-socks variety, but oh well.

We did, however, spot a gorgeous shearling Dr. Zhivago-esque winter hat that Carolyn modeled for the camera. She came close to buying it only to admit she'd never wear it out. Unfortunately, it may be more suited to a Moscow winter than a Massachusetts one.

Above, a little weaving humor. Some of it goes right over my head, but I do tend to enjoy that sort of craft-related geekery. For instance, I saw a young woman wearing a t-shirt with two balls of yarn screen printed on it that read "Knitting Takes Balls." Cute.

Carolyn even made a new friend. Hope you all had a great Memorial Day weekend too!

Hump-Day Hunk: Ryan Gosling

Some of you out there have been clamoring for a little Gosling, and I am more than happy to oblige:

Image courtesy of AskMen.com

This beard thing is really starting to catch on.

Fashion Takes a Beating From Some Good Old-Fashioned Biased Reporting

In case you missed it, Morley Safer interviewed Vogue editor Anna Wintour for 60 Minutes this past Sunday. Watch the segment here:



I'd be interested in hearing an opposing perspective, but it seems to me that when mainstream media attempts to report on the world of fashion, they do it without a modicum of respect for the subject matter at hand; they treat it as if fashion is just a giant joke, a spectacle not worthy of any attention at all, and certainly not an art form in its own right. With all due respect to reporter Morley Safer, he knows squat about fashion and during the piece has a difficult time masking his distaste for it, so to assign him to interview the editor of Vogue seems preposterous at best.

Then again, if you're spending time reading a fashion blog, maybe I don't need to tell you that the fashion industry is about more than just cute bags and shoes.

Springtime Sundresses, Hold the Nude Pantyhose

A couple weekends ago, I attended my friend Christin's bridal shower at her in-laws' beautiful blooming backyard garden. Don't let the overcast sky in the photos fool you, it was an ideal springtime morning:

You can see the bride-to-be in the center, wearing pink and white!

In all honesty, I'd never been invited to a bridal shower like this one before. I had done the informal house-party kind (including my own), the hotel ballroom with the giant bowl of spiked punch kind, and even a Jack-and-Jill celebration that was as grand as the wedding itself. Each time, I'd had a pretty good idea of what I was expected to wear. This time, I had no clue. I thought about wearing a dress, but a quick scan of my closet revealed a collection of blacks and burgundys in rich eveningwear fabrics.

Surely I had a sundress somewhere. I pulled out a bright coral colored sundress I had bought on my honeymoon on Tenerife two years ago, and tried it on. Having originally bought it for the beach, it was obscenely revealing for a bridal shower. I tossed it aside and reached for a sleeveless funnel neck Banana Republic jacket, dark skinny jeans, and some major jewelry. Not terribly spring-y, but it's my usual go-to type of outfit, I was comfortable, and no one looked at me funny (although I overheard someone make a comment about my weight, but whatevs).

Now, for next time: I resolve to be more prepared. The only thing is, I usually abhor anything that shouts "spring!" because it typically involves florals, gingham, and excessive ruffles. Luckily, there are other options:

Isaac Mizrahi for Liz Claiborne Belted Eyelet Dress with Ruffled Hem, $189.00

If you're thinking, Hey wait a sec, didn't she just say she hates ruffles?, hear me out. This ruffle is subtle but still very feminine and pretty. It's also on the hem, where it won't be able to cause too much of a ruckus. If pink isn't your color, this dress is also available in white.

Club Monaco

Graphic black and white looks retro in a modern way, and is clean and crisp. I must have that top.

J. Crew Embossed Cotton Aubrey Halter Dress, $78.00

Halter tops are flattering on lots of different body types, and this one isn't too, um, showy. Because no one wants to look at your cleavage while they oooh and ahhh over salad bowls and bath towels, right? This dress is available in several other festive colors, and may even be inexpensive enough to warrant more than one.

Monstrosity of the Week

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Button-Downs (ASPCBD) has issued an alert.

International Male Paisley Shirt, $49.99

Be wary of anyone wearing this type of shirt, as it is coated in multi-celled organisms responsible for the spread of H1N0, otherwise known as Fashion Flu. Improper handling may result in a paisley pandemic.

Hump-Day Hunk: Eddie Cibrian

Believe it or not, due to my request for suggestions, I now have a backlog of Hunks. It's a blessing and a curse, really (but please keep sending me ideas!).

Image courtesy of NYCityWeddings.com

Today's Hunk was suggested by my friend Jessica, who has been a loyal reader from the very beginning and has excellent taste in men. She also gave birth to a beautiful daughter a couple weeks ago and could probably use a little eye candy in between feedings, naps, and whatnot. Congrats Jess!

Bits and Pieces

First things first, a photo to sum up my weekend:

Just one more thing I can cross off my little Life's To-Do list.

Deka once again has scraped the bottom of the ugly barrel for something truly hilarious. It's a Kate Spade handbag from the upcoming Fall collection . . .

Image courtesy of That's Hideous

. . . while this . . .

. . . is Percy, the most obnoxious-looking owl pillow in the entire history of obnoxious owl pillows. Though the black and white photo does him no justice, let me tell you: Percy was an eye-popping combination of pinks and oranges that would make a toddler cry. Despite this, I adored Percy, and always wondered what happened to him after we graduated from college. Now I know.

In other avian news, last week I was dubbed "Birdo" by Dina's adorably cheeky three-year old son. Only to find out later that Birdo isn't really a bird but a pink dinosaur wearing a bow that shoots eggs out of her nose. We could be twins, really.

These days, things are tough. Where we used to have the Boyfriend Jean, now the Ex-Boyfriend Jean. It's not you, it's me?

Traumatic Eye Injury is Just a Product Away

This innocent looking tube of mascara is not what it seems.

Lancome Oscillation Water-Resistant Mascara, $34.00

Sure, it's just black water-resistant mascara, but when you press a small button on the applicator handle, well, here's what happens:

Press the button to activate 7000 oscillations per minute and experience a breakthrough sensation in application. In one easy gesture, let the vibrating brush combined with an exquisitely smooth water-resistant formula wrap every lash up to 360°.

Seeing (no pun intended) as I've poked myself in the eyeball with a traditional, stationary mascara applicator more times than I'd like to admit, I think I'm going to skip this one for now.

Comment of the Day

Image courtesy of Velorution

Blogger Sarah Von left what is probably the best comment I've ever seen on my humble little blog, in response to last week's Hump-Day Hunk Esai Morales:

I want to watch him eat ice cream. Yummmmm.

Now, I totally understand the sentiment. Seemingly mundane activities (chopping logs, driving an ATV through some mud, using an Iron Gym) take on a whole new dimension when performed by someone we find physically attractive. Ice cream just never occured to me until Sarah mentioned it, and now it's all I can think about. The ice cream, that is.

Eye of the Tiger

Fellow sneakerheads will likely agree when I say that half the thrill of collecting unusual sneakers is in the chase (the other half is the feeling of superiority you get from wearing them out in public). The problem with that chase, however, is it's so temporary. This fleeting feeling might begin to explain why I've been hemming and hawing for two years over a pair of Onitsuka Tigers.

To put things into perspective: it took me about an hour of browsing the Interwebs and two hours in a bridal boutique to pick out my wedding dress. My wedding dress. I'm really not an indecisive person, so I don't understand why I can't seem to settle on a style I like and slap down my credit card like a big girl. So I ask you, my stylish readers, for your help. Do I . . .

Onitsuka Tiger Rotation 77, $64.95

. . . stick with a simple, classic style that would go with almost everything I own and serve as an everyday kind of pair? They would break in nicely after a short time and I'd wear them everywhere.

Onitsuka Tiger Ultimate 81, $59.95

Do I stick with the "everyday pair" theme but in a more attention-grabbing color scheme? I owned a pair of silver vinyl sneakers in high school and have not gotten love for metallic footwear out of my system.

Onitsuka Tiger Gantrai W, $38.65

Do I simply choose colors I think look good together, regardless of my current wardrobe? I'm confident I could make it work, as long as I wore neutrals and allowed the sneakers to stand out.

Onitsuka Tiger Ultimate 81, $37.95

Or, do I go for the ultimate in shoe-collecting decadence and choose a style that screams for attention, clashes with everything in my wardrobe, and generally offends everyone who sees them . . . just because I can? Help!