Bad Fashion Song Lyrics

While news of the impending doom of 41-year old Boston rock radio station WBCN may not be as bad as originally thought, the fact still remains that, for us old-fashioned radio listeners, there will be one less station playing reliably decent tunes with the reasonable expectation of never having to hear anything by someone who was formerly on American Idol.

Of course, 'BCN was never perfect. They played way too much Soundgarden, acted as if Nirvana hadn't released any albums other than Nevermind, and, please, let's not get into the details of that dreadful three-month period in which David Lee Roth singlehandedly dug his own grave under the pretense of a comedy morning talk show.

However, as a 'BCN listener I had been blissfully unaware of the phenomenon that is Lady Gaga, at least up until a few months ago. According to Wikipedia, Ms. Gaga is "appreciated for her provacative sense of style," and is "influenced by fashion." Indeed:

J'adore Vivienne, habillez-moi Gucci, Fendi, et Prada. Valentino, Armani too. Merde I love them Jimmy Choo.

Sure, name-dropping a bunch of luxury-goods designers could be construed as fashion "influence," but it actually appears her main influence is the first seven or eight ad pages of the nearest issue of Vogue. Open a magazine, choose a few designers, and shoehorn the names into a cheesy club-mix. Throw in a few key French phrases in for good measure. Très sophisticated.

J'adore Weitzman, habillez-moi Louis, Dolce Gabbana, Alexander McQueen, eh ou. Merde I love those Manolo.

With that said, I do sort-of understand the aspirational quality of these lyrics, in which beautiful shoes cost hundreds and thousands of dollars and are as out of reach to the listener as, say, an antique Ferrari. But Weitzman? To be fair, Stuart Weitzman makes lovely footwear, and I've personally coveted many of his styles for my personal shoe collection. But Weitzmans are typically sold at stores like Nordstrom for around $200-$300; pricy, sure, but not exactly what I'd call super-duper high-end luxury. What's next, a shout out to Nine West? Claire's Accessories? Lids?

And just in case you hadn't had enough shallow, vapid gobbledygook, there's more:

I need some new stilettos / Can't walk down the street in those / You are who you wear it's true / A girl's just as hot as the shoes she choose

Which item do I address first: the pitifully lousy grammar or the disgustingly materialistic sentiment? Or, do I just focus on keeping my eyes from rolling back all the way into my head? Suddenly some old, overplayed Soundgarden doesn't sound all that bad after all . . .

Image: DJChaos.com